Thursday, December 13, 2007

Opening Doors in 2007...

So many people are creating a million music lists to sum up 2007...
Shit, even I indulged in it myself by creating a top 16 album list...
But my top 16 changes every few minutes so I probably shouldn't have taken part in the "let's compile a list of fantastic songs/albums/videos" farce...

What I really should have done is created a list of my favourite fruit's from 2007, my top pet names of 2007, my favourite piece-of-ass 2007...


So without further adieu, I give you my favourite front-door colours of the past year...



10. White Door:
The religious door. Too clean living and ridiculously irritable. Stay well away.




9. Purple Door:
A little too trippy for my taste buds. Definitely the home of a failed artist or writer.




8. Yellow Door:
Apparently this shade of Banana can drive you insane if your walls are painted this colour. I think it can apply to front doors too.




7. Brown Door:
Very dull colour. People whose front door's are this colour have a standard 9-5 job and are on the verge of monotonous frenzy.




6. Varnished Door:
This is a chippy's door & most carpenter's I know are fucking dodgy. Probably a drug dealer (and not the good kind of drug dealer).




5. Red Door:
Standard & ordinary. 2.4 children with the usual workaholic dad and his very hot wife. We all lived behind this colour door at some point in our lives.




4. Glass Door:
Pros: Capitalists - Greedy folk who want to show everyone on the outside just how much they've spent on the inside of their house.
Cons: Can be smashed by a brick & then looted quite easily.




3. Black Door:
Well educated, morose, sombre, self-loathing & Goth. Just some of the things that can be associated with you if you are the British Prime Minister and live behind a door this colour. Very stylish though.




2. Blue Door:
My ex-girlfriend's front door was Blue & she turned out to be a cunt in the end. However, I have fond memories of that door so it deserves to be at number 2.




1. Green Door:
Intelligent people drive Green cars. So in theory, super-intelligent people have Green front-doors. Paint your door Green and people will think you're smart. It's win-win.

25 comments:

Jack said...

This is probably the funniest and best post you have ever done. Genius man, fucking genius.

Anonymous said...

Best.summary.of.2007.ever.

Nikki said...

My boyfriend is a carpenter. Ehhhh

Pedro said...

Jack - I'll have to compile a hottest piece of ass top 10 too. Nobody ever does a top 10 front door colours though. Which is slightly dis-heartening. :(

Anon - Thank you very much. Not using the space bar is the new cool now too apparently.

Nikki - He's a dealer love. Can you see if he has any weed to sell? Cheers.

nikki said...

he has never done drugs in his life. I hope..........

Jack said...

Ten hot pieces of ass. Hmmm, I can guess at least six out of the ten.

Pedro said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahah! Nikki, Carpenters hold down 2 jobs: nailing pieces of wood together and selling fuckloads of sub-stance-es.
;)

Pedro said...

Go for it Jack - you could probably name the whole lot of them though. Name less than 6 and I'll be disappointed.

Jack said...

Wait!! Is it just girls from this year? What the fuck has Shannyn Sossamon done this year man? Therefore she shouldn't be included in the list. That's the way I am working with this.

Pedro said...

I watched her movies a lot this year. I must have watched The Rules of Attraction about 8 million times this year. She stays in the list pal.

jack said...

Hear me now. Right I'll get rid of the easiest ones first.
This is in no order at all man.
Shannyn Sossamon, Natalie Portman, Megan Good, Vera Farmiga, Maya Arulpragasam & Annie Clark.

Those 6 are definitely in there baby.

Pedro said...

Sossamon - Yes...
Portman - Yes...
Goode - Yes (I have only seen her in that movie "Brick" but she left a lasting impression)...
MIA - Yes...
Clark - Yes...
Farmiga - Not sure (I only know her from The Departed, but she is hot as fuck in it)...

Matt Vinyl said...

There's an old piano
And they play it hot behind the green door
Don't know what they're doin'
But they laugh a lot behind the green door
Wish they'd let me in
So I could find out what's behind the green door


You and Shakin' Stevens have sooooo much in common.

Pedro said...

I only know that Christmas song by Shakin' Stevens.
Didn't even realise he/they had more songs other than that beauty.

Indie-Go! said...

are u portuguese?

douglas martin said...

best. list. ever.

Naia ;) said...

HAHAHAHA weirdooooooooo

UnaRocks said...

hee hee

Pedro said...

No dice Indie-Go, I am not Portuguese.
Everyone just calls me Pedro because whenever I attempt to grow a moustache, I look sleazy as fuck.
Pedro is a sleazy name to go with my unkempt facial hair.

Anonymous said...

This is genius.

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